I'm pretty sure that I've used that title before. But I do like it as phrase, and this is my blog, so I'll title it as I please and there's really not much that anybody can do about it. Unless of course Chuck D. fronts up at my door and drops the boom like it was 1990 (the possible appearance of Flavor Flav doesn't worry me at all. Dude, you used to be cool).
Other clever titles I've thought of include those that relate to the mistakes I've made in life (Welcome To The ErrorDome), those that relate to certain New York Yankee Hall of Famers (Welcome To The BerraDome), or those that relate to my distaste for certain old rivals and nemeses (I'll Be So Incredibly Glad When You're Dead).
I've been in this country for eight weeks now, and so far I haven't seen a single incidence of someone becoming overjoyed at news that they've just received and celebrating the fact by pulling two pistols and firing them into the air while hopping from foot to foot. Likewise, I haven't seen anyone show their displeasure by pulling their cowboy hat from their head, throwing it to the ground, and stomping on it with both feet, only to become even angrier when they realise that they have just ruined their most beloved piece of headwear.
In America, I guess, just as in Australia, if you want something done, you just have to do it yourself.
In a recent attack of boredom, broken promises, and being in the audience of a Jim Carrey movie, I decided that I should embark on a ten-day experiment of answering every single question that was put to me with total honesty. The reasons for this were varied, but really boiled down to the fact that I wanted to see what would happen and I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone a little bit.
Also, I thought, maybe I'll get laid.
Needing no further considerations, I announced my intentions to Facebook at large, sat back, and waiting for the good times to roll on in. And I was surprised by some of the questions that I was asked, ranging from my taste in music to my relationship history to why they call it an Xbox 360.
And then yesterday, while at lunch, the idea of turning this whole idea into a blog was thrown down on the table.
A blog? I thought. Why not? It would be a good way to keep writing, and I've been lazy lately. And I've enjoyed the process, more or less, so far.
Also, I thought, maybe I'll get laid.
And so, with that thought, and very little else, in mind, I headed over to Blogger to get the 1976 Oldsmobile of my experiments in honesty fuelled up, polished and waxed to a fine, crisp shine, and ready to roll across the highways and byways of the internet. I do have certain provisos relating to this:
- I'm not going to answer any questions where the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth might impinge on the lives of others. After all, they didn't go making this offer (which is why I'm better than them).
- I'm not going to judge anyone for the questions that they ask. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
I'm curious to see how this will all work out, I really am. And I might have felt a slight twinge of conscience at adding another blog to an Internet that's already filled with rambling and badly-spelled posts detailing the daily minutiae of people who have no business mangling the English language, but, let's be fair. I'm prettier than they are.
Enjoy.
Other clever titles I've thought of include those that relate to the mistakes I've made in life (Welcome To The ErrorDome), those that relate to certain New York Yankee Hall of Famers (Welcome To The BerraDome), or those that relate to my distaste for certain old rivals and nemeses (I'll Be So Incredibly Glad When You're Dead).
I've been in this country for eight weeks now, and so far I haven't seen a single incidence of someone becoming overjoyed at news that they've just received and celebrating the fact by pulling two pistols and firing them into the air while hopping from foot to foot. Likewise, I haven't seen anyone show their displeasure by pulling their cowboy hat from their head, throwing it to the ground, and stomping on it with both feet, only to become even angrier when they realise that they have just ruined their most beloved piece of headwear.
In America, I guess, just as in Australia, if you want something done, you just have to do it yourself.
In a recent attack of boredom, broken promises, and being in the audience of a Jim Carrey movie, I decided that I should embark on a ten-day experiment of answering every single question that was put to me with total honesty. The reasons for this were varied, but really boiled down to the fact that I wanted to see what would happen and I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone a little bit.
Also, I thought, maybe I'll get laid.
Needing no further considerations, I announced my intentions to Facebook at large, sat back, and waiting for the good times to roll on in. And I was surprised by some of the questions that I was asked, ranging from my taste in music to my relationship history to why they call it an Xbox 360.
And then yesterday, while at lunch, the idea of turning this whole idea into a blog was thrown down on the table.
A blog? I thought. Why not? It would be a good way to keep writing, and I've been lazy lately. And I've enjoyed the process, more or less, so far.
Also, I thought, maybe I'll get laid.
And so, with that thought, and very little else, in mind, I headed over to Blogger to get the 1976 Oldsmobile of my experiments in honesty fuelled up, polished and waxed to a fine, crisp shine, and ready to roll across the highways and byways of the internet. I do have certain provisos relating to this:
- I'm not going to answer any questions where the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth might impinge on the lives of others. After all, they didn't go making this offer (which is why I'm better than them).
- I'm not going to judge anyone for the questions that they ask. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
I'm curious to see how this will all work out, I really am. And I might have felt a slight twinge of conscience at adding another blog to an Internet that's already filled with rambling and badly-spelled posts detailing the daily minutiae of people who have no business mangling the English language, but, let's be fair. I'm prettier than they are.
Enjoy.
Don't forget to get the 'la la la's in early if you want radioplay. Still just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteDuly noted sir.
ReplyDeleteOh, and as a followup:
I had something of an epiphany at the gym today (one of two, but the second is unrelated). The Internet is peopled almost entirely by jerks. Jerks who delight in making my life difficult. And, as I don't think that any past, present, or future employers really need to know some facts about me (for example which gang I would sign up with if I was going to sign up with a gang in Oz. Answer: The Christians would be my first preference, as they never seem to get in any fights, and my second preference would be to become Ryan O'Reilly's right-hand man), I reserve the right to answer some questions privately.
Can I ask a question now?
ReplyDeleteYes! Yes you can!
ReplyDeleteSo LukeC asked me a question:
ReplyDeleteHow did you become such an interesting writer?
First of all, thank you sir. As always, your compliments are much appreciated.
By way of answering...
Well, I was a bookish kind of kid. I read a lot, I absorbed a lot, and I was lucky enough to have parents who did the same so there was always plenty to read lying around the house. Ed McBain, Arthur Conan Doyle, and Raymond Chandler all shared shelf space, and trips to the library were a weekly thing. I didn't read as much during university (I was busy getting drunk) but then I stumbled across humour fiction by way of reading Neal Pollack's The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature, which in turn lead me to Pollack's website, which in turn lead me to Haypenny and Junkiness and Cracked and I realised that I loved the strength of the best writings that were there. They appealed to me a lot more than more literary works and I wanted to emulate their style. I've found that I want to combine the best parts of my favourite authors's works into my work, and hopefully I give it something of my own as well.